to be more exact, it's when i freaked out.
I was waiting on that time of the month to start before starting on my birth control for that month. Well the day to start my birth control was here and mother nature hadn't arived yet. So i called my doctor, she told me to take a pregnancy test.
Now to be completely honest, i had taken a few before this. I had felt pregnant for a few week, but figured it was my birth control hormones making me feel this way. Still I told my mother and best girl friend how i was feeling just so that someone knew i was feeling funky and could attempt to relate. Both of these previous tests had been negative. This proved my theory that my hormones were making me feel this way.
So back to that day, i was at work when it was suggested that i take another pregnancy test. My doctor told me to call her back after i got the results. So i called my husband and told him what was going on, asked him if he would like to be there when i took it. He felt that it was the meds (like i) so he told me to take it, and he would go ahead and drive over from his work.
So i drove to Walgreens down the street (isn't there one or two on like every street!) and went back to my office to do the deed. I stuck the test in my jean pocket, and headed to the bathroom, mentally preparing myself for either 50% answer.
the preparing didn't work when i got this answer.
the box says it takes 3 minutes to get an answer. Well this result was instantaneous. There was most definitely 2 pink lines staring back at me. i think i looked at it for a good 5 minutes deciding whether the one line would sink back and tell me the truth, that "Ha-ha, that was a good joke, jk!" no, it only grew more and more bold. Should have had an exclamation point on it.
i started to cry.
okay now to explain this: over the past year and a half i had had two miscarriages. These both happened within the first trimester, so i didn't have the baby bump. but that doesn't mean that i wasn't emotionally effected. With the second i started to dip into depression. it was a very difficult time for me and my husband (as he had to deal with me). about 4 weeks before this day i had started to pick up and become more me. lively and fun-loving. realizing that life must go on, and God has a bigger plan for my life.
why now?! "God, i have just gotten over these past losses, why present this opportunity for another?" i was so confused and hurt. I knew for sure that this would freak Daniel (my husband) out. We were trying to get out of his parents house and into our own home, but knew that we couldn't afford a home and a baby!
i didn't want to call him and tell him. but i picked up my phone, i called.
I was crying when i told him. He couldn't believe it! but he was happy. I was confused. but he was happy! he told me he was almost there and to wait for him outside.
when he got there i vented just how scared i was about the loss of another child. that i didn't think i could handle it. i started to hyperventilate. but Daniel, with his soft touch and words, told me that we were going to have a baby, and nothing could be more amazing.
I called my doctor, she rushed me in to get labs. my hormones to sustain a baby were too low (which is what we thought was the problem with the last pregnancies) i was put on the correct hormone levels the next day.
i was only 3 weeks. this baby was a God baby. I felt pregnant before it was possible. the test was positive during the soonest it could detect. and my doctor is an angel for pulling me in ahead of others to make sure this one stuck.
I am now 15 weeks and 4 days. there is a perfect miracle growing inside, and i couldn't be happier.
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